i'm really not sure what to think about much of anything right now... i'm mostly just trying to concentrate on getting moved.... But I'm broke... I'm praying that my tax refund comes in before my bills are due again... it might, but i really am not sure.... The way i did it, supposedly it should be back within 2 weeks or so... Gods i'm fucking hoping... After i get all my shit at least IN the apartment, I'm gonna start going look for a second job... Everyone i talk to is so against me going to a daiquiris shop, but i think thats where i wanna go... Although I'm not sure which one... i just need something at night and maybe on weekends... it fits... So, Yea I'm hoping that i'll be making it by soon...

As far as the whole guy things go... yea i want one... yea i'm interested in someone... and yea i hate that... i wish i either had someone, or was just not interested... because i hate how blah i get over that shit.... ugh...

I gotta head to work soon... in about 2 hours... whoot... hear the excitement in my voice?

It was cute though, i let sage stay out all night, and while i had to wake up and fuss at him 2-3 times last night... he was uber sweet this morning... licking my face and rubbing on my arms and legs... bein really affectionate... i love it when he's like that :) soon as i woke up this morning he ran up to me lol... he's in my closet right now... lord knows why

Oh Lord... Craziness...

Ok, so I'm about to sit down and start fumbling through trying to get my taxes done... eewww....

And then tomorrow, I'M OF-F!!!! LOL (I said that like Peanut, for those of you who know what i'm talkin about lol)

I've got 2 apartment buildings to ride by, see if I think the area is good, and then give them a call and talk to them... I am hoping that some stuff is open.. but god I probably wont have money for a deposit til next week, so i might have to write a hot check, beg daddy for money, and run it to the bank real fast so the check wont be hot anymore LOL... I'm a nut I know... But I'm kinda excited... And I've had a few people say that they're interested in finding a roomie, so if i get a 2 bedroom, I'll probably be able to get one... YAY!!!! I MIGHT HAVE A ROOMIE SOON!!! Roomies can be fun...

(crap i just dropped my food on the floor ROFL)

I'm kinda worried about David tho... I'm wondering some things... He's been really distant this past week... I miss him

yea and i kinda have an arrangement with a friend lol... I'm opposed to long distance relationships, but when he's in town he's allowed to date me while he's here for the weekend haha...

Oh, and Kevin and I are running away to London together... lol jk... no but we do both wanna move out there lol

k... so i'm back from Alabama... it was cool. 6 and a half hours there and 6 and a half hours back... the drive kinda blew... would have been easier if i'd had company tho... :'( I tried but noone could come! :'( oh well... Got my hair cut while i was there... THANK YOU SISSY! It was good to get away for a couple of days... really...

hey... i decided to start posting again... no real idea why.. i just feel like it... right now i dont have much i feel like saying tho

I'm supposed to be busy today... I need to:

take a shower
get dressed
Call around and get estimates on the work for my car (i hate making phonecalls)
Air up my tire do I can drive to these things
Get my windshield replaced TOMORROW!!!
Get the short in my reverse lights sorted outMONDAY!
Patch my tire where the nail is
(i need new tires, but thats for another day)
Get my car inspectedTUESDAY!!!
Pay my insurance
Make a deposit at the bank
go to the gym



*sigh*

You guys can call me (if you have the number) if you want. I'm sure if I am able to get this mess done, then I'll be sitting a waiting a LOT, especially later on today

Much love!

[EDIT] I made a lot of appointments today LOL... then just went swimming hahaha.....

Thats so sad. Mrs. Shannon, one of the ladies that my mom babysits for during the week, well, first off, she tried for 10 years to have her first baby. They ended up having to concieve in-vitro but finally had Aden. And well, she found out a few weeks ago that she was pregnant, which was basically a miracle, especially for her, cause she wasnt supposed to be able to get pregnant. And well, she's 11 weeks now, and found out today that her baby is dead. She has to have a DNC sometime soon to remove the dead fetus. That is soooooo sad. :'( I hope she tries again. Poor baby.

do this for me please

http://kevan.org/nohari?name=habitat21

i'm bored. Cant read cause when i try to thats when Aden decides he wants to come "talk" to me and then when i tell him to hush and go play he starts like running circles around me.... urrrg! and I cant bug people on myspace cause it is FUCKED UP... wont send any of my messages or post my bulletins or even just come up half of the time... STUPID ASS SITE!



uurg... and I itch... i guess I need another bath... hasnt even been a day since my last one.... but it sucks and hurts to take one because of this big GASH on my achilles! Cant even get it wet cause it STINGS...

I cant even go to the gym anymore!! I CANT WEAR SHOES!
So I went anyways the other night... was in there maybe 10 minutes doing the upperbody machines and then i got upset cause I couldnt do anything else, so i left. So i've decided unless I need to tan to, im just not going until I can put on some shoes. effing hell.


and then work DRAMA... good GODS! I'm not even going to get started...

But on a good note... Adam and I basically picked our kids names LOL.
Elijah Laine (Eli) and Gabrielle (Gabi) Rae hahaha he gave into the ones I wanted. He likes Claire but I've been DEAD set on Gabrielle Rae since I was like 5 years old LOL...... and I thought up Eli, but he really really liked it, so it worked.... he likes Leon too.... cause its.... interesting LOL.... it's a cool name, we'll see though LOL

First the Chapters of my Life:

Chapter 1:

Initials: RLO
Middle name: LAINE
Birthday: NOVEMBER 21, 1983
Current location: COUCH IN THE LIVINGROOM
Height: 5'1"
Hair length: SHOULDERBLADES
Eye color: HAZEL.... A MUDDY MIX OF GREEN AND BROWN RINGS
piercings: TWO IN EACH EAR AND MY TONGUE. HAD MY NAVEL DONE ONCE
Birthmarks: NONE ACTUALLY. hAD A STRAWBERRY ON MY HEAD WHEN I WAS A BABY BUT IT WAS GONE BY THE TIME I GOT INTO SCHOOL

Chapter 2:

Do you live with your parents: UNFORTUNATELY...YES.
Do you get along with your parents? MOST OF THE TIME
Are your parents married/separated/divorced? DIVORCED SINCE I WAS 1
Do you have any siblings? AN OLDER SISTER AND A YOUNGER BROTHER
What pets do you have? 2 FAMILY DOGS (MATTIE A CHOCOLATE LAB AND SAM A CHIHUAHUA) AND PERSONALLY 2 FISH A RABBIT AND A TURTLE

Chapter 3: Favorites

City: ONE I'VE NEVER BEEN TO APPARENTLY
Ice cream flavor: COFFEE
Season: SPRING AND FALL
Clothing brand: L.E.I.
Color: BLACK
Number: 7 AND 13

Chapter 4: Do You ...

Sing in the shower? NO
Write memos on your hand? NOT USUALLY
Call people back?: SOMETIMES
Believe in love?: AM NOW THANK YOU
Sleep on a certain side of the bed? YEA THE RIGHT SIDE
Wear glasses or contacts? GLASSES

Chapter 5: Have You Ever...

Worn braces?: YEA FOR 4 YEARS
Broken a bone?: I GUESS TECHNICALLY I HAVE. FRACTURED MY SKULL IN A CAR ACCIDENT AS A TODDLER AND DISLOCATED A KNUCKLE WHEN I WAS 18
Had stitches? SEVERAL TIMES
Punched someone in the face? NO
Skipped school?: WHO HASNT?
Gone SCUBA diving?: NOPE
Been stung by a bee?: NO. BUT I'VE BEEN STUNG BY WASPS SEVERAL TIMES
Thrown up in a restaurant?: NO
Been to overnight camp? NO
Written a letter to Santa Claus? NOT SINCE I WAS A LITTLE GIRL
Had detention?: ONLY ONCE
Been sent to the principal's office?: YES, BUT NOT FOR BEING IN TROUBLE NO
Been called a bitch? MANY TIMES

Chapter 6: Who/What was the last..

Person to IM you? SHELLY, LAST NIGHT
Person to call you?: BEN, ONLY I WAS ASLEEP SO I DIDNT HEAR IT, MUCH LESS ANSWER IT
Person you hugged?: MY BROTHER GOODNIGHT LAST NIGHT
Person you tackled?: PROBABLY ADAM LOL
Thing you touched? KEYBOARD, AND THERE IS A PILLOW LEANING UP AGAINST MY ARM
Thing you ate? SAUSAGE EGG AND CHEESE CROISSANT JIMMY DEAN STYLE
Drank? CARAMEL CAPPUCCINO
Thing you said? UM, I WAS HAVING A CONVERSATION ABOUT AN ANNOYING FORMER COWORKER WHOM I TOLD OFF A FEW TIMES

Now 40 "Random" Questions......

40 RANDOM questions:

WHIP OUT YOUR CELL:
last missed call - BEN
last recieved - ADAM
last call made - JESS
last text recieved - ADAM

CURRENT:
what channel is the tv on - LPB, BUT I'M NOT THE ONE WATCHING. ITS ON FOR THE BABY
IMs are up - NADA
what song is playing - ON THE TV, FOR THE BABY MIND YOU, BARNEY IS GOING OFF. THE I LOVE YOU SONG IS BEING SUNG. I'M SERIOUSLY DEBATING ON WHIPPING OUT THE HEADPHONES
whats on the computer- MYSPACE, 2 PAGES OF FANFICTION.NET, MY AIM BUDDY LIST AND A FEW WIDGETS

FAVORITE:
type of pizza - ALFREDO
football team - LSU
shirt that you own- MY BLACK MARS ARMY TSHIRT WITH THE ARROW ON THE BACK

OTHER RANDOM:
whats the time - 11:14AM
whats the date - MARCH 13, 2006
whats the day - MONDAY
light or dark out- LIGHT
Do you own a washing machine - MY PARENTS DO
Do you own more than 5 tv sets - NO, I ONLY HAVE ONE. BUT BETWEEN THE OTHERS IN THE HOUSE THERE ARE 4 TOTAL I BELIEVE
Do you own a toaster- NO, MOM HAS A TOASTER OVEN THOUGH
Do you own a house with 2 floors - NOPE

WHAT DO U THINK OF WHEN I SAY
cat - KITTY!
jump - EEP!
bed - COMPHY
food - YUM
scratch and sniff - EWW

RANDOM AGAIN
What are you wearing? JEANS AND A M.A.S.H. TSHIRT
Whats your favorite color(s)? BLACK
Who is your Idol/Hero(s)? DUNNO
How old are you? 22
Are you a PIMP? NOPE, AND I'M NOT A PIMPETTE EITHER

Guess what everyone! I'm going for a job interview today! Yep, and I'm kinda excited and nervous all at the same time. I know it'll be ok once I get there and I'll be relieved and glad I did it when I am done... I just hope I get the job.

I'm interviewing for the Pathology Group of Louisiana. The position I am applying for is a courier position. It's a fulltime position and i will most likely be getting $8/hr (i hope) to start and the hours are 10am-630ish pm. There is opportunity for advancement in the position as well as the possibility of benefits! Yay!

Now as for what I'd be doing... They have company cars that you use while working. You make trips around the city, as well as possibly some out of town trips to pick up blood samples and some other things (but mostly blood) and bring them to hospitals. Mostly Lake and General in BR. PLUS seeing as how I'll be around doctors and hospital staff all day I'll met people and get to know some people and possibly have new doors opened for me!

SO yea, I go for my interview anytime after 1. It's noon now. I'm going to wait until around 1230-1245 and leave. I have to stop and gas up first so I want a few extra minutes, plus I want to get there hopefully shortly after 1. I've got to fill out my app when I get there and then wait for Dana to call me in.... ooooh i should stop talking about it, its makeing my nerves frazzled!

I'll post an update when I get in from my interview on what happened.... I reallllyyyy hope I get it!

Wish me Luck,
Rach


i most likely dont have it.... all because my driving record might not be perfectly spotless

80 things you might not know about me
erase my answers, fill in your own, and repost.

1. What is your middle name?
Laine

2. How big is ur bed?
twin

3. What are you listening to right now?
Cold Case Files

4. what are the last 4 digits in ur phone number?
2245

5. What was the last thing you ate?
A Balance Trail Mix energy bar... Fruit and Nut flavored.. yummy

6. Last person you hugged?
Aden

7. How is the weather right now?
pretty decent from what i can see out of the window

8. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
I think my dad

9. The first thing you notice about the opposite/same sex?
general stature

11. Do you want children?
definately

12. Do you get high?
never have

13. Ever got so drunk you don't remember the entire night?
a few times

14. Hair color?
almost black

15. Eye color?
hazel

16. Do you wear contacts?
no, glasses. I wish i had contacts tho. glasses are annoying

17. Favorite holiday?
halloween... notthe trick or treating shit, but i like the movies they play around Halloween

18. Favorite Season?
Spring or Fall

19. Have you ever cried over a girl/boy?
yes

20. Last Movie you Watched?
Silence of the Lambs

29. What books are you reading?
My dad gave me a book to read last night, called Virus 4 or something like that. I havent started reading it yet though

30. Piercings?
2 in each ear and my tongue. my navel was pierced a few years ago but isnt anymore

31. Favorite Movie?
Queen of the Damned

32. Favorite college football Team?
LSU

33. What were you doing before filling this out?
Reading a Fanfic called Prisonsers of Azkaban

34. Any pets?
2 family dogs, and i personally have 2 fish a rabbit and a turtle

35. What is your AIM?
fangedsunrise

37. Dogs or cats?
dogs

38. Favorite Flower?
peppermint twist roses


40. Have you ever loved somebody?
yes. i am in love with 3 somebodies right now, but its not the way you think. I fall in love with those closest to me, dating them or not i tend to fall in love with my best friends. Well, these certain ones anyway.

41. who would you like to see right now?
I really really need to talk to Ben. One of the somebodies from above. I miss him so much. Dude ran off to the military and it pisses me off that he's dating someone that he couldnt stand a year ago, i'm not jealous, i'm shocked. But nevertheless he is one of my two best friends in the entire world and i effing NEED him right now and the only way i can talk to him right now is through letters. I'm currently awaiting another letter from him... i need to see if i can find some pictures to send him..... I fucking miss him like hell

43. Have you ever fired a gun?
no

44. Ever been on a plane?
no

45. Right-handed or Left-handed?
right mostly. I lean towards my left in some areas though, just not writing or eating.

46. If you could go to anyplace right now where would you go?
Italy

48. Are you missing someone?
Obviously

49. Do you have a tattoo?
Not yet. After my sister gets married i'm getting a 5 point star on the base of my neck though.

50. Do you still watch cartoons on Saturday mornings?
no

51. Are you hiding something from someone?
sort of

52. Are you over 18?
by 4 years

53.What is the wallpaper on you phone?
Jack Skellington

54. Did you get enough sleep last night?
i'm well rested if thats what you mean. I went to bed at 4am and got up at 11am

55. First thing you thought about this morning?
fuckin... ugh... i have to get up and watch babies so mom can go get cigarettes... effing figures

56. What do you have handy at your bedside?
lots of things. you should see my headboard. i have everything from medicines to candles to a stuffed animal to puffs...

57. Grilled or Fried?
grilled. fried tastes better of course, but grilled is better for you

58. Steelers or Seahawks?
........... i dont care enough to even form an opinion

59. when was the last time you wrapped a house?
um... never

60. Are you afraid of the dark?
not of the dark, no. But i can get freaked out about whats IN the dark at times.

61. Favorite hangout?
anywhere but here. I'd probably live in bookstores if they'd let me though

62. 5 things you cant live without?
my phone, my 2 best friends(shelly and ben), a car, a computer, and a bed

63. First thing you will buy if you were given 1 thousand dollars?
a windshield for my car and i'd fix my reverse lights and then get a new inspection sticker. Not glamerous i know, but i effing NEEEEEEEDDDDDDD them

64. Favorite song?
it changes every few days, but my alltime fav is faithfully by journey

65. What are you afraid of?
the unknown

66. Are you a giver or a taker?
mostly a giver

67. Do you drive?
all the time

68. What is your dad's middle name?
Lee

69. What is your mother's middle name?
Ann

70. Stuck on a deserted island and could bring one thing?
a knife (be realistic people... how would things like cellphones and radios help you on a deserted island?!)

71. Favorite TV commercial?
i dont pay attention to commercials

73. First thing you'll save in a fire?
any babies, children, elderly people, or animals that happen to be in the house with me

74. Favorite colors?
black purple and green

75. What are the things you'll always bring with you?
cellphone, keys, glasses

76. What's the wallpaper of your computer?
this is a scaled down cross section of my wallpaper


77. What do you usually do when the clock turns seven?
the chicken dance??? i dunno its different everyday

78. The color of your bed sheets?
yellow

79. Who do you want to meet?
Tom Felton

80. Who do you think about before you go to bed?
its different every night

Please do this for me... i would greatly appriciate it

http://kevan.org/johari?name=habitat21

i'm confused... utterly confused.... then again whats new? I'm always confused about something. No I dont want to talk about it.

the gym the gym the gym... i think i'm going to go there a tad early. I might leave as soon as I finish this post... yes I think I will...

FUCK!!! What the hell!!!!! on top of confusion i am frustrated as HELL! ugh.
bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch... what the fuck else is a journal for?

deal with it.

i'm slackin.... i skipped out on going to the gym and tanning yesterday... just didnt feel like it. I still dont, But I'm thinking I'm gonna go anyways.... soon. I really shouldnt get out of the habit... then again... UUURGH.... i get off early tomorrow and it's already after 9pm.... I'd have to get gas before I can go.... and I have to be at work for 5am.... goooooooooosh... I think I'ma skip again.... and just go early tomorrow.... like I'm almost on empty and its almost 10pm. I havent cashed my check yet, or deposited it, so I have no money right now (well i do, but its put up)... so I think I'ma perhaps even stay up all night, but go to work for 5am, get off at 1pm... go to the bank, pay my Alltel bill (maybe, that one is a long story i dont feel like telling... its cut off right now thanks to my step dad not paying HIS last month... makes no sense right?? exxxxxxactly!) THEN go to the gym and maybe even try to find something cute to give Adam on Valentines day.... since I'll actually have a valentine this year, for the first time in like 4 years... ugh. i tried to hint at him last night (ok it was a very in your face hint that he couldnt have missed and he didnt cause he said "you want that dont you?") about something i want...but he'd have to order it and i know it wouldnt be in on time, but i didnt even know they had them til yesterday... and dont ask me what it is cause i probably wont tell you.... it's dorky.... it is an all out expression of how much of a nerd I really am.... and i really am too!




anyways, enough of my mumbling....

♥Rach

well, i had another weird dream involving a baby last night....

I saw this section on the news one night about how there was a tanker of (i cant remember exactly what the name of it was. a potion that was discovered to make someone more fertile and help them convieve a child) into the mississippi river. A bunch of people were jumping into the water, apparently they all wanted kids. There had been tests done on the stuff and apparently it worked because anyone who tried it, got pregnant immediately afterwards. I can remember being interested in it and looking up stuff about it on the internet. Cases studies and such, and then I remember looking at ebay to find some, but deciding that might not be a good idea.

so the next part of my dream I'm at a party with my boyfriend (who is actually my ex, brian, in the dream. But something about it tells me i didnt really want him around. Like Adam wasnt ever in the dream, but i had this feeling during the dream that he was sort of "over the horizon" or something) and we were playing drinking games with some friends. Well, one of the guys slipped me some of that potion while i wasnt looking, and then dared me to go sleep with his friend in the next room, and that they would know if i didnt. I looked over at Brian and he just shrugged his shoulders and said to go ahead... i dont thin k he realized i had drank the potion. So i was drunk, I had drank that, and i slept with this guy (whom i never saw in the dream, all i know is he had dark hair and dark eyes... completely unlike the blonde hair and blue eyes of Brian)

So then I find out I'm pregnant. We assume it was Brians cause well, neither of us remember that dare 100%. I lived in Baton Rouge and he apparently was still out of town or something. I dont know because i never really SAW him through the rest of the dream, only talked to him.

the next part of the dream i was going to the hosiptal on my due date, but hadnt gone into labor yet. It started raining really hard while I was at the hospital. I signed in and they informed me i needed to go to another hospital about an hour north since I hadnt gone into labor yet and they were overloaded right now.

so we're trying to leave. its me and my sister and I think Ben. We had been trying to get in touch with Brian but couldnt find him. the three of us all got into a vehicle together and drove. When we got there i was like in shock. I couldnt believe I had to have my child there. It was a military hospital that looked like it belonged out in a camp somewhere. Ben assured me it was ok, and besides I didnt have much choice, I had started going into labor on the drive up anyway. And luckily it had stopped raining. So i go in and get changed, and I was just about to go walk back into the back when I woke up......

weird.... i kinda wanted to stay asleep long enough to actually have the baby... but it was implied all throughout the second half of the dream that the baby was that guy i slept with at the party, and Brian didnt really want much to do with it, and Ben was going to take care of us....

yea....






so anyways, now I need to go finish getting dressed... I'm waitin on Shelly to come over so we can go do some stuff!

Much ♥

i had a weird dream last night...

i had had a baby. a beautiful one too. he had really long black hair. but anyway, he was newborn and i brought him into a room at a school. Not sure if it was a highschool or a college. I think a college. It was a small room with just a few chairs... we were sitting in the room and Adam came in... i had led him to believe the baby was his. Apparenly it wasnt, but it was for someone who looked a lot like him. I dont know how it happened cause i never got the feeling i had cheated, so perhaps we had broken up for a while. But Adam came in and suspected it i suppose cause he asked about it. When I didnt answer him and another man walked in, he took that as his answer and left.

Next thing I know I find out Adam is dating my sister (which is really weird cause in reality she's getting married in a few months lol not to mention she's like 7-8 years older than him) I never saw the man in the room again... he was apparently the baby's real father, but apparently he didnt stay around for the baby, which i didnt ever appear to want him around anyway. Anyway, I was never over Adam, and wanted him with me, and for him to be with my sister was a slap in my face, but I think that was the entire point. I wanted him to be with me and the baby, to be the baby's father, but he was always hugging and kissing on my sister. I dont remember what was being discussed on the one day, but we were all at my mawmaw's house. It was raining really hard, but whatever Adam and my sister had said or did cause me to get up, get my child, and without a word I left.

I moved us to Shreveport I think. Got a job with a play company that after being there for a while i found out he used to work there too. Apparently he had moved up there for a while... maybe while we were apart. And he like build sets and stuff for them. I was mostly working in the back too. Like making sure everyone got where they neededto be and had all their crap, etc. And I dont know WHAT happened, but after a while Adam showed back up. He moved back up there and got his old job back... Apparently he understood what he really did mean to me, and seemed to feel bad for using my own sister to get back at me.

by the time i woke up, we werent back together or anything, but apparently he was being civil to me again. Perhaps if i hadnt have woken up we would've patched things up, although I dont know if that would have really happened, cause i know i was wrong for leading him to believe it was his child... but to date my sister to get back at me?! I dont know... I guess if he really was sorry maybe i would have thought about it....

my purple betta fish died... i only had him for like 2 months. I dunno why he died, he's seemed perfectly fine ever since i got him.... maybe he was just old... :-(

Rest In Peace
Chester

yes I know, all i ever update on here is utter crap. I barely even look at lj anymore... dont really care much about it anymore.....

seriously if you wanna get in touch with me or keep up with me, get on http://mindviz.com

my url is http://tearstaindpillow.mindviz.com/

seriously.